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Chapter 1
The Beginning
In this chapter I will attempt to explain how this book came into existence. In doing so however, I may be in danger of frightening away a few atheists. My intention is to avoid this if at all possible. So, first I must point out that although this chapter deals mainly with my personal experiences of psychic phenomena, the reader's belief in such phenomena is not necessarily required and is not a pre-requisite for the understanding of what is written. Rather, the incidents are more for background purposes than anything else, and are not what the book is about.
I was born in 1952, and had a reasonably uneventful childhood. Although I suffered no broken bones, I was rushed to hospital at the age of four with peritonitis. It was rather 'touch and go' for a while but I recovered well, except that my former interest in food had been greatly reduced. As a consequence I became thin and at a later date acquired the nickname "Sparrow"!
My school days have remained a mystery to me. How could so many people and so many subjects fail so dismally in engaging my interest? As I was thought to be basically a 'good boy' and quiet, my lack of interest went mostly unnoticed by the teachers. I wasn't being a nuisance to them, so that was fine. I was aware that they were trying to equip me with the tools for living, so I did make some effort to learn, just in case the interesting lessons came later. They didn't! In fact, I can list the interesting bits of my schooling in just a few lines.
Composition, cross-country running, the woodwork room and art. Composition because I enjoyed writing, cross-country running because I invariably came in first or second (almost certainly due to the fact that I didn't stop for a smoke in the bushes with most of the other competitors), the woodwork room because of its delightful smell but not woodwork itself and art because it seemed to be relaxing and creative. However, when my secondary education finished and I began a three year course at Art School, I soon discovered that I wasn't over enthusiastic about art either! As for the rest of the subjects, I did only what was expected of me and waited for it all to go away. I must admit that I did find religious knowledge curious. Why was an apparently intelligent man talking such a load of irrelevant nonsense? The obvious answer that he was the Religious Education teacher in a Church School failed to satisfy me at all. To sum up, I would have to say that what school did for me was to provide me with the basics while at the same time making me feel like a halibut in a dog kennel!
I could continue a brief history of my life but rather than dwell on something which might appeal only to a few, if that, I think it would be best to get on with the task at hand. I will mention though that I was never what you might call a saint, and neither was I what you might call a devil. Somewhere in between is about right.
In January 1975, my friend Ian and I rented a flat in Tufnell Park, North London, - the fledglings bid for freedom! We had one bedroom, with two single beds, which was fine except when a girl acquaintance of ours came once a month
to stay with us. Ian, being the gentleman he was, gladly vacated his bed for her, leaving the girl and I in the bedroom whilst he slept in the lounge. Well, I'll put this as delicately as I can and say that I was never much of a match when faced with temptation and, after all, those were the days of 'free-love and peace', so, the (in my case), inevitable happened. It was after one of these 'inevitables' when we were both on the verge of sleep that I suddenly said to her, for no obvious reason, "Think of a letter". After getting over her initial surprise and probably to humour me eventually she agreed to think of one. With my eyes closed, I tried to see the letter she was thinking of when much to my surprise, what appeared in my mind was a ticker-tape with the beginning of the alphabet spread along it. I say I was surprised because normally speaking, if I shut my eyes, all I see is blackness. The ticker-tape moved along and when it came to the letter 'E', the 'E' came up off the tape and 'shook' at me. 'F' did this too but to a lesser degree. I waited until the tape moved on to complete the alphabet just in case and the 'O' came up and 'shook' at me, even more violently than the 'E' had done. I was confused but decided on 'O' as my answer. "Yes!" she said. Then I explained about the 'E' and the 'F' and she said that she had thought of 'E' first but it kept turning into an 'F' so she had settled for 'O' instead. I tried to work out the odds against this but gave up and went to sleep.
She went home in the morning and I went to work. A month later she came to stay again and what happened then was an even bigger surprise to us both. I will quote from her account of the nights events which was written the morning after it happened.
21st February 1975 - Tufnell Park
Well, Sparrow has asked me to write something down as he wants two accounts of what happened, so I'll try; but it's difficult to remember things in sequence. Still, here goes! It started with mind reading. Yesterday evening, Sparrow tried to read my mind, drawings, ideas and so on, with an almost complete lack of success. Then suddenly, later on, things started to come right, and just wouldn't stop. I was thinking of a bloke I knew whilst on a student course in Venice, whom I particularly disliked, and Sparrow began to describe someone else. So I thought, "Oh, it's not going to work again". Then I realised that he was describing exactly, (not put off by my 'no's' and 'not really's',) a Frenchman who had been staying in the Pensione, and who usually talked to me in the bar, after supper. Sparrow went on to describe the bar in accurate detail. (Very convincing, and too many right answers to be lucky guesses.) He knew exactly about the wooden walls and ceiling, the door, and it's relation to the coffee machine. Then he went through the door and described the hall, waist-high cream marble panels.
Next, Sparrow described to me the principal's study in his flat, getting the desk and chair exactly right, describing them in physical detail. Once again he was 100% correct on the positions of things in the room, and where one of the windows was in relation to the door. I hate to say it, as I should like to remain sceptical, but once again, too many inter-relating factors were correct for it to be random chance. Then Sparrow described the principal with great accuracy, which is surprising because he isn't an easily categorised type, neither the young whiz-kid or shrivelled aesthetic one might expect to run the course. Good score on physical features, i.e. big nose, pock-marked skin, and general air of running to seed. Middle-age spread, late forties. (He got the age right too).
After some rather inconclusive wandering about in what was definitely my room in the Pensione, (I had disorientated him by some unintentionally misleading answers), the really frightening thing happened. He said, "Oh look", or something inane like that, and I looked up, expecting to see nothing, but I could see a shimmering sort of 'light' surrounding his arms. (O.K., I know this doesn't sound very convincing, and I wouldn't have believed it myself except for the fact that I saw it). I mean, it's a bit startling when someone you know starts glowing! He moved his right arm, and the 'light', (not exactly light, but it's the nearest substance to anything I know), rippled away a bit, in the shape of the movement, a bit like sunshine on asphalt on a hot day.
I can't remember ever being so scared in all my life. I'm sorry I was; because it didn't exactly help Sparrow to cope: but if it happens again, I don't think I'll be scared, because I've had time to think about it. Before, mind- reading used to scare me, but yesterday it didn't, and that was before Sparrow said "Oh look" in that incredibly ordinary way.
I couldn't really move properly, or speak for what seemed quite a long time. Sparrow said he was going to move and I noticed a really flat 'greenish light' on his shoulder, and lying in the hollow of shoulder and neck. I really didn't want him to move with all that energy (?) streaming out behind him in visible form. Luckily he waited until it faded a bit. (It wasn't constant. Sometimes I could see it with startling clarity, and sometimes I could barely see it at all. It was also visible on some parts of the body more than others, which seemed to fade and vary for no particular reason).
He asked me if I had one, 'whatever it was' too. At first, I didn't want to look, but eventually I did, and luckily there wasn't anything. I was so relieved!
All I can say is that this has forced me to revise all my ideas concerning human beings. In a way, although I obviously know more, it feels as though I know less. I really don't want to believe any of this. If something strange happens when you're on your own, you can say it's imagination; if someone tells you about it, it can be a friend of a friend, who's probably lying anyway. But when you see something you have no intention of seeing, and someone else sees it too, what can you do but believe it? However resentfully.
On a subjective note, this has made me feel closer to Sparrow than I did, and at the same time, about as far removed from him as it's possible to be on the same planet. It was really noticeable, a feeling of incredible power emanating from the other bed. I felt really small and helpless. He could have done me a lot of damage if he'd wanted to, but there was a feeling of closeness too, perhaps because he didn't really understand it either, and could not, or hadn't thought of controlling it. I don't think, no I know, he wouldn't have hurt me, even if he could.--
This account was so accurate that I felt no need to write one myself, yet one thing is missing from it and it is something of such significance that it was strange that she had made no mention of it. At one point, during the period of my 'glowing', I said something in a voice that was nothing like my own, Just a short phrase but quite enough to put the fear of God into us. To this day, neither of us can remember what it was I said. I remember thinking, after it happened, that to have blamed it on to a demon or spirit would have been a big mistake and that the only answer that made any sense was that the voice was a part of me but a part I had never met. I suppose that it is necessary to add a few more points of interest for the benefit of any psychic-phenomena enthusiasts, so let me clear up a few bits and pieces that spring to mind.
Eventually, when the 'mind-reading' had lost it's momentum, I got out of bed and went to the kitchen to get a cup of milk. I got back into bed and was bringing the cup to my lips when I thought I saw the wardrobe door open a little. (It was slightly ajar and until then had looked like a thin black line in the semi-darkness). I lowered the cup to look at the door and as I did so, it appeared to return to how it had been before. A little confused, I raised the cup again, the door appeared to open. After a bit more lifting and lowering of my arm, it became clear that an area, surrounding my arm, anything up to 6" away, was distorting things when I looked through it. I found it curiously easy to come to terms with this and although my heart rate may have doubled, my mind remained relatively calm. I put down the cup and just watched it. I then looked at my other arm and it too had the same kind of aura around it. As I watched them, the distorting area began slowly to turn opaque and eventually almost white, with just a hint of green. It was at this point that I said "Oh, look!". (That was all I said, because I didn't want to lead the witness).
Eventually, after a long stunned silence, she was able to confirm what I was seeing. One thing more, this light seemed to be made up of long needle-like striations that varied in intensity from one moment to the next. The power of this aura was so strong that it appeared to distort the shape of my arms, which looked blacker than black. And when I moved my left arm close to the wall, the light did not reflect back but just stopped at the wall or, perhaps, even went through it. This left me with a question. "Surely, all light reflects, doesn't it?" As a consequence of this, all thoughts of St. Elmo's fire or bioluminescence had to go out the window!
And again, what the spiritualists think of as a human aura did not seem quite right either. I was left wondering what I was.
I had, two days previously, acquired a permanent job as an off-set lithographic printer in Chancery Lane. A few days after the 'glowing' incident I was asked to collate some pages for a book and was given a finger-stool to try to speed up my somewhat disinterested pace. I wore the thing on my finger for about an hour and when lunch time came, I took it off and placed it on the bench. After lunch I sat down and looking at the finger stool now, the symbol of the tedious task ahead, I noticed that it had retained the shimmering clear aura that I had had ever since the first glow. (Incidentally, people kept looking at me on the underground and I felt sure that they could see it too which was all very unnerving)! So, the aura was transferable.
It was about this time that I tried to explain the whole thing to my new boss, whose only comment was; "You may glow in the dark but you're pretty dim in the daytime!". Suddenly I decided that I liked him after all.
On two subsequent visits from the girl, the glowing phenomenon reappeared and I have taken a few extracts from her diary to help me out with descriptions of events.
Undated
Sparrow was glowing on his face, shoulder, (right) and forehead. As I watched, I felt drawn towards him, not just emotionally, but also physically, like pins and needles, from the back of me to the front, towards him. I found it very difficult to go back to bed, although I was tired, and really wanted to go to sleep. Although I had been kneeling by his bed for some time, I wasn't cold, not even my feet, which always get cold.------
No, I've decided. I've got a hunch this strange magnetism is not dangerous to me. It might have been a while ago, but I've changed too much.------
I could see Sparrow's 'aura' really quite strongly, rather variable, but generally strong. It was hard to believe that he could hardly see it himself, although he could feel it, and knew it was there.
The electrical effect, which occurs when hands or whatever are between 1/2" to 6" away was particularly strong. It's strange that the electricity can be quite painful from a short distance away; but when you actually touch it, it doesn't hurt, and feels quite normal ....
At the beginning, his pulse was much too fast, not that I had a watch: but it just was. After a while it slowed down noticeably; until it was just too slow. (This was near the end).
But what's it for? Makes him late for work: apart from that I just don't know. There must be a use, but I just can't see it at the moment. It must be found!
Back to magnetism for a moment ....
I think it's a development of the sense of power I felt the first time it happened. Now it's stronger because the 'glowing' is. It's a fascination with power which I've always had. Motor-bikes, fast cars, really loud music - anything. And when one is determined to experience everything, such a strong and strange experience is bound to attract more of one's attention than it should!
I had discovered that I could feel my aura rebound off any object before I touched it. This seemed only vaguely useful and even then it was sometimes unreliable with my eyes closed. Doubts crept in as to whether it would be of any use to anyone, until a school teacher friend of mine suggested I should try healing. I shall return to this presently.
My new life in London turned out to be short lived and I returned to my parents' house after only five months in the outside world.
I should explain that ever since the first 'glow phenomenon', I have retained a residual effect, which is a much weaker version of the 'glow'. What I'm trying to say is that the 'glow' has never completely gone. It can be felt by most people as a kind of pressure if I place my hand about one inch or so above theirs. It sometimes feels warm and often feels like pins and needles, or static electricity. I believe that this energy is transferred to others during healing. The energy is the life force, common to all of us. Why is it that some people seem to exude more of it than others? This is a question I have yet to answer fully but it seems to have something to do with our individual connectedness, a subject which will be dealt with later.
The residual aura looks very much like heat haze. Things seen through it appear to shimmer. This effect can be seen sometimes up to three inches away from my hands or feet or, indeed, any part of my physical body. I am not unique in this. I have seen it on many people but I have still yet to meet anyone else who admits to having 'glowed in the dark'.
A second psychic experience occurred shortly after my leaving Tufnell Park. I am by nature a sceptic so consequently my beliefs come only through knowledge gained by experience. I do not understand the word faith, it has no meaning to me. Therefore, I do not expect anyone to accept these experiences as true. How could you know if you were not there? You did not see anything when it occurred and all you are seeing now are words printed on a page. I only ask you to accept the possibility that they are true ... this is all I expect of you. I now move on to the next and last experience.............
Excerpts from later chapters:
- Emotional love is love of one but not all. Family but not neighbour. Our country but not others. It is fragmentary and therefore not true.
- This diagram, when properly understood, not only explains our inner selves but also mankind's behaviour as a whole.
- We are reflections of our universe, not separate as our nervous system suggests but part of the whole. Man cannot go against nature because man is nature. What else could man be?
- It is only when we become disillusioned with the outside world, or we become seriously ill, that we find the time to stop and think. Such moments of despair always present us with the opportunity to grow, to take one more step up the ladder to adulthood, although the opportunity is often ignored.
- We already know the answers. All we have to do is find the right questions". The answers are all around us but we are unable to see them until we ask the right question. Then we see the answers were there all the time. After all, we ourselves ARE the answer.
- If we wish to change the world, we must first change ourselves. Our inner conflicts are projected outwards into the outside world. Walls in our minds mean walls in the world. Only when we have peace of mind will we have peace on earth.
- The signs are appearing now of a collective change of mind. We are beginning to see that we can no longer go on the way we are.
- What I do believe is that whether we like it or not, mankind is about to undergo a psychological change. A change for the better. A change from caterpillar to butterfly.
(c) 1995 - 2002 Anthony E. Baker
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